Back to School…
This year my oldest daughter started the Second Grade – in a new school, in a new state and in a public school. She had been going to the same small independent day school for the past three years – small class size and lots of attention. Now came the whopper, turn everything upside down and shake it change. Bus ride to school. Buy lunch at the café. Class with 24 other 2nd graders. New neighborhood. No friends.
Was she scared? A little, but her excitement about all of the change – the “adventure” of the new neighborhood, school, friends – all helped her overcome her fear.
Yesterday when she got home and I asked her how it was, her response was “fun!” – and then she turned to her toys and the familiar begging to watch a movie on the TV.
So my daughter embraced the change and marched forward into adventure. Why?
My wife and I – without really coordinating it, made the effort to talk to her about it for the past month. Ever positive in our comments, we would ask her questions about what she wanted to know about the school, and then would go find out and share it with her. We took her to the school over the summer to see it with no kids, to play in the playground, to see where it was in relation to our home. We went with her to the orientation day – and let her explore on her terms, and then pointed her to things that we saw that she should look at. Anything that she brought up that she seemed fearful about we recognized, talked with her and got her answers about.
No secret – we made sure that the communication lines were open. We listened to her questions and answered her questions. We pointed things out that we thought she should know about.
In my consulting contacts I make the same recommendations to my clients as my wife and I followed with our daughter. I coach my clients to listen to the questions that the employees and staff ask about the business and the changes in the business. I also coach that they listen to the questions that are not asked – and provide the information that would answer them. All in an effort to address the cultural changes that need to happen to support the change.
Sadly, there are some managers who embrace a confrontational attitude – “resistance is futile” approach. I sometime hear the excuse that “if we listen to them we will have to change our plans – processes – etc.” Sometimes the voices in the team present a better idea. Most often the voices are reflecting the fear that the troops have about the changes not working. Open communication removes much of the ground that supports the fear.
